I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
As shirtless as possible
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
