just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
