I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
