dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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