Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
