I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
