used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
