We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
