I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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