hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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