No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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