i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
