OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
