So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
