she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
