i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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