Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
