butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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