My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
