I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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