stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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