some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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