I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
