Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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