there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
