I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
