Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
