My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize