ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
And then my night got REAL pukey
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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