Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
