It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
