i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
