You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
