forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just googled if crying burns calories
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just forgot I was standing up.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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