a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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