chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm having to shit out rocks
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
