I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
