its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize