Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
