Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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