Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
