We're like a lot better than the average bears
I can text with my tongue
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Vodka?
Forever.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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