There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
