I feel like I'm in dance class right now
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
