I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
