I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
