Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
