id be glad to
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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