could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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