the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
send nudes
from the living room?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
