i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
