she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
