guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
