dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize