lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
