Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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