The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
