break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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