and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
